Cynicism and the First Day of School

I don’t know when it happened. I’m not sure if there was an exact moment or if it just occurred over time. But at some point in my life I became a cynic. I became jaded with certain life situations. My outlook on life had become negative.

I realized this a while ago, but today I really knew it.

School started yesterday. I was really looking forward to this year for many reasons. I will no longer be the vice-president of my teachers association which will free my time to concentrate more on my class. I was looking forward to giving my students more of myself this year. Then I had a conversation with a first year teacher.

I asked her how her day went. She said it was busy, but fine. And then she said, “I didn’t get to do a lot but go over the rules. I can’t wait to start making a difference.” Wait a second! Hold the presses! Make a difference? Oh, yeah! That’s why I got into teaching in the first place…to make a difference. After nine years of teaching, I had forgotten WHY I became a teacher.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’ve done a horrible job over the past several years. But I haven’t been doing the best I can do. I haven’t been trying to make a difference in the lives of my students day after day.

My mind has been clouded with other crap over the past few years. I became a cynic. I was the first one in the lunchroom to complain about my students. I came to work to socialize. I tried to “get through the year” instead of trying to “make a difference.” I was counting the days until school ended. I was in it for the wrong reasons.

No more. I have made the decision to make this year, my best year. I have made the decision to MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

I say all of this publicly because I need the support of my friends and family to do this. Hold me accountable

Family

We have spent the last few days with Carrie’s family. Being an only child of two only children, I am not used to having tons of family all around me. I feel like I kind of missed out on a part of something growing up. But, nevertheless, I am glad Carrie’s family puts up with me.
We went to Carrie’s cousin’s Ben’s wedding. It was a lot of fun. I realized that in being part of a big family, everyone has a role. The oldest sibling is the one with the plan (my mother-in-law). The oldest person has to make sure everyone is fed (Grandma Shirley). There is the comedian (JJ), the musician (Jesse), the fun-loving younger aunt (Jan), the hyper, but highly intelligent kid (Spencer), the one with the contagious laugh (Nancy) the cutie pies (Marnie, Tori, and Wyatt), and everyone else fits in somewhere. The point is that every family is unique in its own way and every family grows…and grows…and grows. The last time we got together for a family picture, there was no Wes, no Wyatt, no Kelly, no Tori, no Bethany, etc., etc. So when we got together for the family pic I couldn’t help but think that the next time we do this, there will be even more! (Of course, there will be NO MORE Lassiters!)
Okay, enough of the good feelings…I have a score update. The other night while trying to sleep I had a major allergy attack. Sneezing for 45 minutes straight! So, Wildlife (which includes pollen) 3, Lassiters 2. I hope those deer get out of the road the next time I’m driving because I play to win!